Tag Archives: britney spears

Would you go wiiiith me???

Welcome to the second installment of Throw-Back Song Fridays! Below is the 90s gem that plays in my head every morning when my alarm goes off.

Please listen to it. It’s amazing.

Listening to 5ive always reminds me of my friend Kate, because my friend Kate, like me, loves really really horrible music. Back in high school, where we met, all of our friends pretty much listened to the same, weird, shit—stuff like Dispatch and Led Zeppelin and uh, Phish.  I could stomach some of it, but a fourteen-year-old girl can only take so much noodling before she wants to put on some SheDAISY and lip-synch in front of the mirror. Thank God for Kate. Kate always came through for me. I could go into her bedroom at anytime of the night (we went to boarding school), turn off the lights on her while she was sitting on her bed in a trucker hat eating Fritos and strumming a ukulele, put “Oops!..I Did It Again” in her CD player, and before I knew it, private dance party. (We also did emo quite well; a pair of young women screaming “don’t you know you betta run, run, run, run, RUN!”  in the bathroom together has never sounded so beautiful.)

Kate lives in Los Angeles now. She is also the loudest person I know. I bring this up because sometimes I wonder if I could hear her telling a story from LA if I stuck my head out the window and tried hard enough. For real. I used to call her “The Chip” in high school because I thought she had a microphone lodged in her trachea when I first met her. But Kate is much more than just a loud voice—she knows how to work a room, too. She has weird, witch-like movie-star charm. Even if you are the only person in that room with her, and you’re just sitting on a couch watching Don’t Mess with The Zohan and eating Ritz crackers, Kate will work the shit of you.  Or at least herself, because she is also one of those people who laughs a lot at her own stories, and not like, a series of a amused little giggles at herself, but full-on belly-laughing at what she’s saying, slap the table, eyes-watering—she never ceases to find herself and her life incredibly amusing. Kate has a million friends and all of them, like me, think we’re DEFINITELY in the top two or three of her inner circle. There are legitimately forty-seven people out there who think this. Parties she throws often end in snap-offs.

After college, before Kate moved West and I moved…to Boston, Kate taught me how to drive. On a rainy December night in 2008, I took my driver’s test in Bruce, her recently departed Ford Focus that was always filled with random things like neon-green pipe cleaners and empty cans of seltzer and mix CDs of country music and trance disco and the odd tennis shoe. (Kate hearts clutter.) During the test, the cop actually had to turn around and yell at her for trying to mouth me the answers to his questions from the backseat. If I hadn’t already mentioned it, Kate is unfailingly loyal. There are very few friends who would give up their time to try to help someone like me learn how to do a three-point-turn in a high school parking lot at the age of twenty-three, but there she was, texting furiously and laughing the whole time, while unironically proclaiming that should have been running her own ad agency at this point. We spent many hours in that high school parking lot that winter, drinking cinnamon lattes and trying to avoid having me kill the track team. At the time, I was very much like “uh, what is HAPPENING in my life, this is like Garden State but not sexy” but of course I now miss it.

So…I miss you Kate, lover of life and music good and bad, who introduced me to this song and the glory of the “Jenny From The Block” station on Pandora, and who has never met a night out you didn’t dominate.

Happy Friday! The end.



Filed under boston blog, boston music, photos, Uncategorized

Oh Lana, Lana, Lana….

A few days ago I didn’t know who Lana Del Rey was. Now I do, so I’m just gonna go ahead and add my two cents about that fact, cause I’m pretty sure that’s why Al Gore invented the internet. And all I can say is, I am getting old, people. And bitter. Because I mean, really? REALLY?

Watching those SNL performances, I think I felt how most people did when they saw them: bored/very confused. It was, like, wait am I watching a sketch? Is that Kristin Wiig impersonating a drag queen on quaaludes? Or did Emma Roberts just put on a wig and huff some serious testosterone? Because if it’s none of the above, I’m not sure that that person is okay. And someone needs to get her off that stage immediately.

I don’t want to be too mean. If I was singing on SNL I’d be peeing my lacy white dress and twirling around in awkward circles too, but hey, that’s why I’m not booked to be the musical guest next week, in’it! Also, I get pissed off when I’m super naïve. Ex: After watching the LDR trainwreck, I showed my boyfriend some of her performance. Within ten seconds of watching the clip he shrugged his shoulders and said, “Yeah, there’s no way that chick’s father or uncle or something isn’t some seriously well-connected millionaire.” Then he walked away. Oh, please I thought, don’t be so paranoid and jaded! This isn’t Enemy of the State or something! This is real life! And then a little light googling, and …uh, he’s right! I never think that stuff, and then I’m like…HEY that’s not FAIR! That’s now how it works! Talent is what gets you ahead in life! She’s not a phony with connections, she was just…really nervous!

Which brings me to Susan Tedeschi. Probably never heard of her. That’s fine, she doesn’t really care about that. But I was lucky enough to see her perform live this weekend. And America (well, my twelve readers) I think you’ll agree that that is a musician. (Seriously, click the link.) That is talent. That is SNL-worthy, and also, that is a WOMAN. I repeat: A WOMAN. Not a hyper-packaged, hyper-sexualized, hipstamatic-I-crawl-around-with-tigers-“vintage”-aesthetic spectacle, and certainly not a girl who was born in 1986 and has already had plastic surgery in order to get more youtube clicks. (Yes, Lana Del Rey had her lips done. She’s 25, people. TWENTY-FIVE! I just used letters to spell her age out that’s how sad this makes me. What is wrong with all of us??) Susan Tedeschi could eat LDR for breakfast. Not that she’d want to. But still.

Obviously all this is nothing new. In some ways, Lana Del Ray is just the Britney of 2012, except that dancing around the lockers in your sports bra and jogging pants doesn’t really cut it as “edgy” anymore. But you can at least do crunches and scrub your bathtub to Britney’s, cough, music. I’m not sure what LDR’s “music” is for yet, though I imagine it provides a nice soundtrack for when you feel like burning your forearms with candle wax or being depressed in a sexy-vintagey sort of way.

But hey, to each their own. I just hope this chick gets the collagen out of her face and goes on a very long vacation. Also, she needs to dump that boyfriend.

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Obligatory Super Bowl Post.

Okay, so the Superbowl this year did not feature our beloved Patriots (sigh), and it was in Dallas (sigh?). Therefore, I have really no reason to write a post about it. This is a BOSTON-CENTERED blog, after all. But…every once in awhile, I’m going to stumble across non-Boston-related content that is worth sharing, and ladies and gentleman, I have found something worthy: a youtube clip of the 2001 SuperBowl Half-time show.

It is a thing of stunning beauty. Not only does it highlight how BAD the Black-Eyed-Peas were this year (and I don’t even dislike them that much; they make great music to read magazines and paint your nails to train for 10ks and blend protein shakes with), it reminds you of how GREAT life was when Britney and Justin still dated. And Britney was hot in 2001! SO HOT! (God, was she hot…) Then there is the opener, which I dweebly love: Stiller being Stiller, and Sandler being Sandler, and it’s so goofy and innocent and MTV and 2001. Then there is the beauty of watching NSYNC and their crazy running around and HIDEOUS outfits and realizing that for a few years all the members of that band were super-famous and riding VERY high; I mean, they performed at the Super Bowl Half-Time Show for Christ’s sake! With Aerosmith. Um??  They had tons of money, and probably a lot of girls, and they dressed like this (see below)??? And now minus that one dude who turned himself into a music phenom/movie-star, no one has any idea what happened to them….


(Seriously though, Justin Timberlake is the man. He can look back on his life and be like “Yeah, I used to prance around via choreographed dance moves while wearing denim patchwork pants and lip gloss and nine pounds of hair-gel in my hair, but, uh, now I make movies with David Fincher so…JOKE’S ON YOU!”)

Back to the video…

There is Mary J. in yellow fur being Mary J. And then Nelly comes out?!?!? I LIKE IT WHEN YOU MAKE YOUR KNEES TOUCH YOUR ELBOWS AND BREAK IT DOWN LOW!  I LOVE NELLY! I LOVE HIS HALF-AND-HALF JERSEY! (Fergie could have used some serious Nelly in her life last night. Also, perhaps a new singing voice.) I even love the MTV font that introduces all of the artists, and the stupid fans holding colored cardboard signs and all that line-dancing that goes on at the end. Basically, everyone seems to be having a lot more fun then the show I saw last night, which was so SLICK and BLACK AND SILVER and AUTO-TUNED and POLISHED and SORT OF CREEPY FUTURISTIC LIKE. All I wants to know is: whatever happened to a Stiller/Sandler opening, and some classic rock bands and boy bands and rappers and R&B singers and saucy pop starts having fun and looking really stupid and putting on a good time?

Next year’s Super Bowl will be better. The Pats will be there, and (fingers-crossed) maybe they’ll even be a little half-time entertainment courtesy of Chris Kirkpatrick and Joey Fatone!



(Editor’s note: Basically, Tom Brady just called me (he does this a lot), and those were all his thoughts I just spit out at you. He has a lot to say about Nsync. (And yes, of course, I told him congrats on the MVP on behalf of all of us. Duh.))

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